Saturday, June 20, 2015

The Daily Done: June 19

On June 19, I went to the dentist for a cleaning and checkup. It didn't go well. :(

Usually, I'm in and out in 30 minutes. My teeth and gums are healthy, there's not much plaque or tartar, all is well. But not this time. My teeth are okay, but my gums are receding.

Now, gingivitis is not normally considered a catastrophe... but I freak out at the very idea that there's something wrong with my teeth. I had lots of trouble with my teeth as a child, practically from the time they came in. At 18 months old, I had to have all four of my top incisors pulled. I then went without front teeth until age 6 or 7 when the permanent incisors grew in (huge, as if to make up for lost time). I had baby teeth that didn't fall out on their own and had to be pulled. I had many cavities. I had two painful experiences with wisdom teeth before having them all pulled (without the option of sedation). Around age 22, I needed a cavity filled, but the dentist could not get the tooth numb.

I frequently had nightmares about losing all my teeth. Most of my childhood memories are fuzzy, but I still remember in vivid detail the waiting and exam rooms at the dentist's office.

Thankfully -- and I mean I am truly grateful for this -- after the cavity trauma at 22, I had no real problems with my teeth until this year. So why the problems now? The main reason is simple: I have not been taking good care of myself.

This shortcoming manifests itself in things that seem shallow -- I haven't had a haircut, I don't paint my nails, I wear the same three shirts over and over -- but those are indicators of a deeper problem. I've stopped putting effort into my appearance because I'm resigned to the fact that nobody cares. I don't mean "appearance" in the sense that I was ever trying to be beautiful or sexy or pleasing to someone's eye; I mean that I used to make an effort to present myself well. But lately, I don't seem to care.

Well, as loony as it may sound, if there is one thing that can push me to make real changes to my lifestyle, it's any kind of threat to my teeth. :P

Wakeup call heard loud and clear... Done!

9 comments:

  1. Oh no, Bane! Teeth and eyes are scary stuff in my world. Like you I have a traumatic childhood when it comes to teeth-- my baby teeth had to be pulled and I went around with false teeth in kindergarten. The false teeth always ended up in a Dixie cup to bring home. Fortunately after childhood, my trauma ended.

    While not glad for the wake-up call, I'm glad you heard it. I have been dancing 5 lbs over my max-weight-to-feel-comfortable-in-my-body weight for a few months. I need to put a stop to it... Perhaps I should live vicariously through your wake-up call.

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    1. You, too, huh? That stinks! I don't really remember not having teeth (though my mom tells me I would put my hand in front of my mouth when I talked, so evidently it bothered me), but I do remember having to learn how to eat with incisors. It was so weird to bite things in the front!

      Gingivitis is an odd wake-up call... but whatever works, I suppose. ;) I'm about 15 pounds too big for many of my clothes. I'd really like to change that. And not by buying bigger clothes!

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  2. I used to think I had it bad with my teeth; as a child I had to have nine cavities filled in my baby teeth. And whatever the dentist did to me the first time I went (I was under five and honestly don't remember), I had to take phenobarbyiol every time I went after that. However, after reading your post and GG's comment, I see that I didn't have it so rough after all!

    I'm glad you are having it taken care of, and please remember that some of us DO care about you taking care of yourself, whether we actually see you or not! ::HUGS::

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    1. Yikes! That sounds pretty bad.

      Thank you, that means a lot to me. :)

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  3. Oh, what a nasty wakeup call especially under these circumstances! I know that it is hard to keep up with all tsks beyond the bare minimum in times of sadness and mourning, but please try to take care of yourself as much as you can!

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    1. Very true; it has been hard to do much more than go to work most days. I have been wanting to change that for while... but now I realize it's more than just an idle want -- it's a need.

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  4. My recurring stress nightmare is spitting out mouthfuls of teeth. It's when I know I need a break.

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    1. Makes me shudder just thinking about it. :(

      When I'm super stressed, my dreams have themes of catastrophe/disaster/end of life as we know it. Roland Emmerich movies, basically.

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  5. There is so much more here than teeth. The hardest care is self care. It seems a stupid way to spend an afternoon when you have projects and work and the general adult worry floating around. It is important, though. Even when I was having my worst times (calling out of work because why get out of bed pasta with a side of self harm) doing my nails would anchor me and make me smile. It was fucking HARD to get to the point where I DID it, but it always gave me a glimmer of "it will get okay".

    If your teeth are ever not enough, PM me on Facebook. I may have some face masks I have been hoarding that would suit you fine.

    ::Hugs::

    ~Morgaine~

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